Wednesday, July 21, 2010


On Monday, I started to learn how to use Illustrator. So many possibilities! Illustrator has the weirdest, awesomest tools ever.

And my Graphic Design teacher has great funny quotes, which as scrawled all over my sketchbook. Not only after my notes, but in the margins and between the holes where the spiral goes, and on the inside of the back cover. It's insane.

To my teacher, I probably look like a good student, taking lots of notes, but really I'm drawing his face, sketching people's feet, and writing down things like:

*Illustrator tools*
"pucker, bloat, pucker...the person who made this must have been on drugs..."

"Dr. Suess on steroids..."

"where is everyone? Probably that heat wave we aren't having..."

*answering phone*
"hi. I'm teaching."

"This is not Dr. Phil. This is fill."

"in Illustrator, you can blow something up to billboard size and there's no fuzzy!"

"okay? okay? Anyone awake? Good morning."

"press esc....from no man's land"

"weird stuff's like when you got to the mall and get girly earrings. it's a girly earrings tool."

"funky stuff tool"

"keep puckering around, guys!"

"you can make sushi and Dr. Seuss-y kinds of images"

"see that meshy thing there?"

"imagine how much fun Picasso would have with this."

*editing a map of the US*
"I just gave you a tributary. it flooded."

"I moved a mountain."

"Cry me a riverrrrrrrr...hey look mom, I moved Wyoming"

"the black arrow. bumbumbumbummmmm."

*additive color mixing*
"What happens when you add RGB? Come on! what do you see when you die?"
TA: "They haven't died yet."

"shut up. eat your spinach"

*trying to lecture over the HUGE computer screens in the room*
"where are my low water stilts?"

"in this class, we gonna do a lotta copyin' cuttin' and pastin'.

"I have electric bunnies now---green bunnies! blue bunnies! Oh!"

"you guys are like molasses running up a hill!"

"happiness is goodness and goodness is everywhereeeeee"

*points to himself*
"Stupid when I was young."

"which came first? the chicken or the egg? you choose!"
*explaining different methods of changing values on Photoshop*

*narrating our thoughts*
"Yes, Joe. We're with you. We wanna go home have slushies!*

*using the scale tool*
"Look mom, my tree is growing bigger and bigger!"

"pigs can fly."

"Look mom! I'm making layers!"

"Just gonna spray on my field of flowers..."

*about Illustrator*
"it's like Peter Pan. A bit of stardust and you can play for dayssssss!"

"pentagon. sexagon. oh, hexagon."

*paths and such*
"the biter tool"

"it took a star bite. it's like Christmas. The grinch stole the star."

*narrating our thoughts*
"what the hell are you going so fast for, Joe?"

*rotating tool*
"now my birds are dive bombing"

"can you see me behind this box of nightmares?"

"I'll call this file...Joe Demo. Like JOE DEH-MOH. it rhymes."


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